One of the most important issues for the next generation of Messianic Judaism and interestingly a rarely discussed issue is the question of intermarriage.
As the wider Jewish world has moved from Tevye’s traditional stand of “Never!” to intermarriage (he had allowed his first daughter to marry a Jew without the help of a matchmaker, second to marry a Jewish “outsider” from the big city, yet when his third daughter fell in love with a non-Jew that was a line that could not be crossed), to today where more than half (54%) of all Jews have married non-Jews from 1996 to the present, according to the 2000 National Jewish Population Survey, we see that there is a crisis for the continuance of a distinct Jewish people.
Sadly the numbers of Messianic Jews marrying non-Jews I would posit is even higher than the rest of the Jewish world, especially in previous generations. For the Messianic Jews in their 20′s and 30′s who represent the future of our movement and are now moving toward the chuppah it is vitally important to take seriously the issue of choosing to date and to marry a Jewish person. The issue of Jewish survival and a distinctly Jewish core and influence in Messianic Judaism for the future is dependent on having future generations of Messianic Jews reared in Messianic Jewish homes by parents who are Messianic Jews.
There are those in the larger Jewish world that hold Messianic Jews to a higher standard for fidelity to Jewish, especially with our belief in Yeshua as Messiah setting us up to be seen as “other”. This could be seen in a recent article in the Los Angeles Jewish Journal written by David Klinghoffer where he wrote:
…since belief in Jesus is among the most powerful known acids on the existence of the Jewish people. When Jews accept Jesus, they marry other Christians or their children do, thus disappearing into the Christian population.
(Los Angeles Jewish Journal, 03/31/06)
We have to take this seriously for both the future of our movement by keeping Messianic Judaism, a Judaism of Jews and for the Jewish community and also so as a witness to the larger Jewish world of our fidelity to Jewish life and building Jewish families and not seen as apathetic to Jewish life and melding into the larger Christian world after becoming followers of Yeshua demonstrated by marrying non-Jews and setting ourselves up to meld into the non-Jewish world.
We need to take this to heart as we look to make important life choices. This can call for sacrifice to follow this through.
One of my friends came up with a mantra that he shared with a Jewish guy who was dating a non-Jewish girl:
Not a Jew, not for you.
Though simple and seemingly crass, it is powerful in that in it’s simplicity it reveals the heart of the matter Jews should date and marry Jews and non-Jews should date and marry non-Jews.
To those who are already intermarried, I am not going to say “put away your foreign spouses”, but I say it is vitally important for you to see that if you have children or plan to have children, it is vital that your children are raised as Jews and that you encourage them to find a Jewish spouse.
We as the next generation of Messianic Judaism can play a vital role in keeping Jewish life and Judaism alive in our world by our choices on who we marry, especially with those of our age in the larger Jewish world for which marrying Jews and building Jewish homes and community are becoming less important, given the increased willingness to intermarry.
This is an issue that calls for more discussion than this one post and I hope this begins an important dialogue as we work to build up a Messianic Judaism for the future and to do our part to keep alive the Jewish people, the seed of Abraham as an ongoing testimony to the world of the faithfulness of our G-d.
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